Four And a Half

Four and a half is challenging. Its not the terrible twos…actually the twos weren’t that bad at all. The threes were a bit rough. But this has been the most challenging. Four and a half is defiance. four and a half is letting go off my hand and running off in the middle of the mall. Four and a half is back to back time outs. Four and a half is a constant state of negotiation. I can handle the dawdling over shoes or breakfast, I can handle the whining even. I can’t handle the defiance, that moment when he just says no when I ask him to do something. There are fewer and fewer cuddles, more and more jumping and wrestling.

But four and a half is also sweet. I adore the non stop chatter coming from the back seat when we drive around. I love that he wants to share everything with me and I’m still his favorite person. This conversation sums up all the awesomeness of four and a half

Me: Thanks for helping me with the laundry, you have been a really good helper today

Bun: yeah, I am a good helper Are you glad you borned me?

Me: Yes, I’m glad I borned you

Bun:I’m glad you picked me.

.:Heart Bursts:.

And the five minutes later we are back to the spitting and shouting and yelling.

Four and a half will also pass and maybe I’ll say it wasn’t so bad. But right now…its a challenge

Summer in Durham

It will be my 10 year anniversary in Durham this august. I can’t believe this has been my home for nearly a decade now. One of the things I fell in love with when I first moved to Durham, were the Magnolia trees. Magnolia blooms are spectacular and they are all over Durham. This photo was taken on one of  Bun and my walks around our neighborhood park. Isn’t it lovely?

This summer is going to be hot and humid with ferocious afternoon thunderstorms and it will be filled with Magnolias

This Last day of May…

..is bittersweet. All the sunshine and the flowers-intoxicating. A sweet distraction from the big changes that are happening in our lives. The first half of 2014 is almost over and I feel like I am just waking up and seeing all the changes that are still yet to come. Durham suddenly feels a little less like home.has been bittersweet.Our favorite family in Durham had to move away. They are now an ocean away and although I am looking forward to visiting them, Durham feels a little empty. Bun also  just finished his last day at Greenwood School which was a huge part of our lives for the last year and a half. Soon there will be new schedules, new camps and new Pre-K. We’ll have to find new buddies at the park and step outside our comfort zone to make new playdates. June will different. Thats the meaning of May The photos are from a recent visit to the American Tobacco Campus in Downtown Durham

Mothersday

I worked a little on Mothersday, yes Mothersday, like Sunday, only sweeter. Had a mini tantrum, felt unloved due to excess technology in the house. Brunch at City Beverage or as Bun calls it CityEv. My sweet boy gave me some sweet basil. Home for some quiet and more tech, only this time it was my turn.

The afternoon was filled with trips to the garden shops and hardware stores. Bookshops and Homegoods, and finally ending at the American Tobacco Campus in downtown Durham. One of my most favorite spaces in Durham.

Garlic fries and golden light and smiling, giggling running boy. Just felt so right.

 

Cloud, Tree, Parents- Bun’s first photoset

 Bun never expressed an interest in taking photos earlier, unlike other kids. But this Sunday, he very politely (unusual) asked to take a picture of a cloud, a tree and of J and I. Of course I said yes.  Like  aproud parent, I present Bun’s first photo set.

Photos are taken at Sam’s Bottle Shop in South Durham. All photos are by ADK and unedited

Friendships and The Other Woman

Lucky in friendship. Its something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. I don’t know how I’ve managed to hit the friendship jackpot over and over in my life, because personally I think I am such a crappy friend. If I had to rate myself, I would give myself a solid 6/10, so it amazes me that cool, hip, funny, wonderful women want to be friends with me. { Note to self: Increase friendship score}

Last night I went and watched The Other Woman with a friend in a real movie theater. I say real because I went from watching a movie in a theater every weekend 10 years ago to one movie every century. It was really nice to squeeze in some girl bonding time with my friend, who will sadly be moving away. I still haven’t processed how I’m going to cope with her moving away back to her home country.

The movie itself was everything I expected it to be, there were no big surprises just,  goofy Leslie Mann, Cameron Diaz looking slightly haggard and Kate Upton’s boobs having a fabulous time. There were lots of laughs, shots of tequila, lots of talk of lady part maintenance  and Nicki Minaj and her fabulous butt. It was comforting and funny and sweet.

Happy Thanksgiving

 

I am grateful for my son- every minute, everyday, always.

This year I am grateful for my community-

playgroup moms who talk potty training, playdates, timeouts, with me 5 days a week,

girlfriends who are happy to spend a night in drinking Sangrias and to take impromptu trips to Forever21.

mashi and didi’s (aunties and sisters) from my bengali community, who give me traditional recipes and invite me for delicious dinners.

Student’s from J’s lab who invite us to keggers that still keep me feeling like I’m still 25.

Guys who watch football with me and are willing to share their infinite knowledge and trivia of the game. Extra shout out to the ones who make bad jokes and strong cocktails

My cousin who is no farther than a text away and is equally happy to discuss Real Housewives of Miami and Bun’s cold with equal enthusiasm

My friends who are far away physically but share their lives with me via text, facebook and instagram

My parents, my family, my husband who are always there to pick up any of the balls that I may drop.

Today I’m cooking a meal in all their honor, for all the grace they bring to my life

 

Staying In

We’ve been staying in all this week. The weather hasn’t been terrible, but my little man has been down with the sickies. Its not been very pleasant overall, but the upside of staying in is that we get to putter around the house doing things like baking pumpkin chocolate chip muffins and brownies. I’m going to gain 5 lbs well before the holidays this year!

I love Bun’s Oooh Face!

After the Rain

Its been raining around here. A lot. So much that we have had to stay housebound the past few mornings. Its not all bad though, plenty of snuggling on the couch and watching movies and playing cars, and looking out of windows. I want to say that because I was home I got my house whipped into shape, but no I didn’t. It still looks like we just moved in. I’m hopeless.

But when it stops raining and it is time to kick off the blankets and the boots and just run and run and run outside.

Nothing makes Bun happier than rolling around the grass these days.

Scenes from the past few days:

These two photos are my favorite. This is what two looks like to me on a good day. When there has been good naps, and good meals and no tantrums, Bun and I get to enjoy moments like this.

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Hands in his pockets is a new thing for fun. He is trying to put his hands down everyone’s pockets.A few years down the line, this might be a bit of a problem, but lately its cute!

… That I shall miss you When you have grown

I love this little boy so much that sometimes I fear that my heart cannot bear such brutality. I try to remember this on days like today, when he has a cold and he is cranky, bossy, rude and demanding, when I’m snappy and short and impatient. But when he is in bed, asleep and I have calmed down his nerves and mine, and I look through our pictures from  my camera and I just want to sit and cry at how quickly all this is passing.

Today, I looked up as he followed J down the stairs and he looked like a kid, not my baby, not a toddler- a kid. In his navy shorts and  a bandaid on his finger and scrapes on his knee, there he was – a little boy. And with every fibre of my body, I willed time to pause.

He got down the stairs and called out “Mommy” in his sweet 2 year old voice and just like that he was my baby again. At least for today.

The title is from the last two lines of W.B Yeats A Cradle Song

A Cradle Song

The angels are stooping
Above your bed;
They weary of trooping
With the whimpering dead.
God’s laughing in Heaven
To see you so good;
The Sailing Seven
Are gay with His mood.
I sigh that kiss you,
For I must own
That I shall miss you
When you have grown

———-William Butler Yeats